May 2012
38 posts
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The Bro Code: Article 10
A bro will drop whatever he’s doing and rush to help his bro dump a chick. It’s normal for a bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason, he’s worried that she’ll become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to have sex with her friends. This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks...
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The Bro Code: Article 9
Should a bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow bros will not make lame jokes such as…
“Gimme three!”
or
“Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball…”
It’s still a high-five and that bro still has a lot of balls, metaphorically speaking of course.
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The Bro Code: Article 8
A bro never admits that he can’t drive stick, even after an accident
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The Bro Code: Article 7
A bro never sends a greeting card to another bro. There are no sentiments between two bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail. The following are a few emails for any broccasion to simply get the message across without costing you the trouble and expense of having to find and then send an actual greeting card.
EMAILS FOR ANY BROCCASION
...
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The Bro Code: Article 6
A bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other bros in a gym locker room.
NOTE: If a bro gets naked in the locker room, all other bros shalt pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while, at the same time, immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. “If a towel drops to the floor, so should your eyes.”
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The Bro Code: Article 5
Whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports.
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The Bro Code: Article 4
A bro never divulges the existence of The Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for ANY REASON…. No, not even that reason…
NOTE: If you are a woman, and reading this, first let me apologize. It was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Secondly, I urge you to take The Bro Code for what it is. A piece of fiction meant to...
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The Bro Code: Article 3
If a bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.
NOTE: Naming a lapdog after a pro-wrestler or a character from a Steve McQueen movie, does not absolve a bro from this article.
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The Bro Code: Article 2
A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it.
NOTE: Had Butch Cassidy come out of that cabin alone, they would have been like “Dude, cmon…” If only one Spanish dude decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, they would have been like “Dude, cmon…” If only Tommy Lee had worn eyeliner in...
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The Bro Code: Article 1
Bros before hoes. The bond between two bros is stronger than the bond between a man and woman because on average men are stronger than women. That is just science
DID YOU KNOW:
that article 1 can trace its’ genesis back to Genesis? No, not the peter gabriel/ phil collins pop triad, but the biblical book. The discovery of the dead sea scrolls has unearthed and once lost passage that...
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You know what would make summer great?
I’m going to post an article of the Bro Code every day this summer until the entire Bro Code has been recited
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